I am sure you don't need me to tell you of the latest terrorist attacks that have taken place in Mumbai, India. What is the answer to this worldwide problem? How do we put a end to it? Governments, armies, in fact everybody, has had a go at trying to stop these extremists from causing death and destruction on a worldwide scale, with no real success...
...now I think it is my turn to come up with a cunning plan!
I have noticed two things about the extremists. Firstly, it is a sin for an Islamic male to see any woman other than his wife naked and, apparently, he must commit suicide if he does. Secondly, the Koran does not approve of alcohol.
I think we could use these two "weaknesses" against the terrorists and weed them out. I say we have a day of action next weekend.
Next Sunday, 7th December 2008 at 4:00pm, I am asking all women across the Western World to walk out of their houses completely naked to help weed out any neighbourhood terrorists. Circling the block for one hour should be enough for this anti-terrorist effort.
For our part, all men are asked to position themselves in front of their houses to prove they are not terrorists, and to demonstrate that they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wives and to show support for all women. A cold six-pack at our side would be further proof of our anti-terrorist sentiments.
I do appreciate your efforts to root out terrorists and applaud your participation in this anti-terrorist activity. I know it won't be easy, but we must be take on this hardship to bring an end to extremist terrorism.
Your Country Needs YOU!!
Saturday 29 November 2008
Your Country Needs YOU!!
Monday 24 November 2008
Tuesday 18 November 2008
Home Cooking
I hate cooking and I hate food shopping. I live my life with a minimum of home cooked meals and a maximum of takeaway foods. Turning over a new leaf this week, I prepared a menu for the week and went out at the weekend and bought the groceries. Tonight I had oven-baked spareribs, glazed with a sauce made with whiskey, soy sauce, brown sugar, Dijon mustard, and ketchup.
I am totally stuffed!
Furthermore, I am actually having fun in the kitchen and that is something I thought I would never say.
Monday 10 November 2008
He Stole My Song!
About 20 years ago now, I was riding on the subway on a normal day going to do some shopping on a day off work. It was about this time of year, so I was probably going to do some early Christmas shopping. I came up the escalator handed in my ticket to the ticket collector and walked out into the bright sunshine outside. As I turned left out of the station heading down towards the shops is when I saw her.
She had the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. They were a cold light blue in colour but she made them look warm. She was really pretty and I smiled at her the way a stranger does when he sees someone that catches his eye. She smiled back in a playful kind of way, or is that just the way I interpreted it?
It was over in the blink of an eye but for the remainder of that day I couldn't get that girl out of my head. The fact I was never going to see her again actually made me feel a little sad! I remember thinking; "how can someone I don't know have that kind of effect on me?"
Over the years she has popped into my head on random occasions. Whenever I have been shopping in the same district I have looked out for her but alas, I never have seen her again. Maybe she really was an angel visiting earth for the day and was needed back in heaven?
...
Fast forward 20 years and I heard this song recently by a guy called James Blunt. James, you just so stole this song out of my head...
My life is brilliant, my love is pure
I saw an angel of that I'm sure
She smiled at me on the subway
She was with another man
But I won't lose no sleep on that
'Cause I've got a plan
You're beautiful, you're beautiful
You're beautiful, it's true
I saw your face in a crowded place
And I don't know what to do
'Cause I'll never be with you
Yes, she caught my eye
As we walked on by
She could see from my face that
I was flying high
And I don't think that I'll see her again
But we shared a moment that will last 'till the end
You're beautiful, you're beautiful
You're beautiful, it's true
I saw your face in a crowded place
And I don't know what to do
'Cause I'll never be with you
La la la la la la la la la
You're beautiful you're beautiful
You're beautiful, it's true
There must be an angel with a smile on her face
When she thought up that I should be with you
But it's time to face the truth
I will never be with you
